Sunday, May 26, 2013

Not entirely back

I have totally neglected this blog and i don't feel a pang of guilt at all. Haha. Life after a level exams have been traumatizing instead of the peace and serene moments that i thought i would be having. I am starting to think that working my ass off isn't a good idea anymore. This is because everyday before i drag my heavy feet to work, i will be in constant fear. My boss isn't the kind of person you want to mess with. Moreover, with the strict regime that every piece of information has to be taken down, is getting on my nerve. I have to admit i am totally stressed out. But there are some of the nicest people that I've met during my work and truthfully i could never be more grateful for their guidance and care for me, the silly girl who always get things wrong because she thinks ignorance is bliss when in the medical field, ignorance is never bliss. It will only bring agony.

I am left with one month before i leave this job i know i won't miss, and to begin a new chapter of my life. My university life. I am totally left behind by my friends who are already in their second year of degree and me? I am so so so far behind. But this isn't the only thing that was bothering me. In this four months of working i totally lost contact with my friends even the one who is living a one block away from my house. Sorry, really sorry.

Is there any way i can convince my mum that i don't want to work anymore? Not even a single chance, mun bling. -.- Don't think about it, just do your best and smile yes smile more. Till now, i am still uncertain of my path. Is this really what i want to do? Everything seem so perfect for me, i got a scholarship, i got everything laid out in front of me and i just need to keep walking straight like a blind person. My mum keeps telling me how i should be grateful and how others are envious of my life. Don't get me wrong, i am grateful. But deep down, i know this isn't what i always wanted. I am really greedy ain't i?

I just hope everything goes well. What else can i do now?


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